Dear confidence

How are you? How have you been? WHERE, have you been?

I haven’t seen you in a while, it’s just that I’ve been so busy, you know, going with the flow.

But maybe we should go grab a cup of coffee sometimes, so I can let you know that I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for not telling you the truth, for lying constantly again and again and again.

Practising to make it sound believable, practising for that perfection but accidentally making it permanent.

I’m sorry for pushing you aside, pushing you away in every uncomfortable situation that I’ve been in.

Pushing you away for every word tangling with a lie of a sentence.

Pushing you away when I saw that boy being harassed on a busy sidewalk with everyone watching but not reacting.

I’m sorry for not telling my mother no, “no mom I don’t want to do science” or “no mom, I don’t want to be a doctor running around and trying to save lives” just let me try to save myself first.

But I didn’t, and I’m sorry confidence, for pushing you away, pushing you over until I became the pushover.

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