Having acne is an emotional journey. Sometimes you might breakdown by seeing yourself in the mirror, trying to avoid your reflection just so you don’t have to see your ‘flawed’ skin.
You hate it when people look all around your face rather than your eyes when they speak to you, maybe you’re just overthinking it, but acne makes you overthink.
You find yourself constantly scrubbing your face, hoping that these marks would erase away, that they will fade away, buying multiple products that promises you a clear and beautiful face.
Masks, face washes, ointments, tablets, treatments, exfoliators, oils, makeup.
Makeup, you try to cover your marks by using makeup, concealer, foundation, BB cream anything that gives you an illusion of that ‘perfect’ skin that you see in the magazines. But what happens when the clock strikes twelve and it’s time to remove your heels? When the day is over and you’re back home inside your bathroom facing yourself in front of the mirror, wiping away your mask to reveal your worst nightmare, and that, that’s when it hurts. That makeup gave you happiness, but it was only temporary, it wasn’t your real skin.
You hate your acne, you constantly find yourself asking ‘why me?’, you feel so insecure and it affects you so much, you wish it didn’t affect your life so much but it does. And that’s why you hide yourself behind this character that you have painted out for the world, but that isn’t you and you pray that nobody notices and most of the time, nobody does.
And this is when you find yourself constantly looking at your reflection, some might talk about how self obsessed you can be.
But they don’t know, they don’t know that you are harshly analysing your skin, your features, picking out the smallest mistake on your body and only making it big, making it big enough so that, as time goes by, you shall modify it.
But for now, you’re just dealing with it, my dear punching bag, stop being so hard on yourself.